E.T. for the holidays? Kent News columnist weighs in

I know it sounds really strange, but I do my best thinking in the shower. For some reason, it’s the one place my brain seems to fire correctly and the ideas flow. Yesterday, for example, I was thinking while showering, “I wonder what extra-terrestrials would think about our Christmas celebrations?” I conjured up so many thoughts on that subject that I used up all the hot water in the shower.

Kent News columnist and mega quilter Joyce Becker.

Kent News columnist and mega quilter Joyce Becker.

I know it sounds really strange, but I do my best thinking in the shower. For some reason, it’s the one place my brain seems to fire correctly and the ideas flow. Yesterday, for example, I was thinking while showering, “I wonder what extra-terrestrials would think about our Christmas celebrations?” I conjured up so many thoughts on that subject that I used up all the hot water in the shower.

Could there be E.T.’s out there in space looking down upon us studying our bizarre behavior come Dec. 1 of every year. Could they be thinking, “Why are these humanoids chopping down their beloved trees when they are so concerned about global warming?” Or, perhaps they may scratch their weird-shaped, little green heads and think, “Why do Homosapiens climb up ladders to place funny flashing lights on their dwellings - are they trying to make contact with us or what?”

When the people from outer space study us, do they wonder who the big fat guy is that wears a red suit and ask themselves, “Why does this roly poly old dude have all these children around him – and why does he only hang around shopping malls for just one month?

Can you imagine how disjointed we must appear to the aliens on Christmas morning? A bunch of crazed humans gathered around a half-dead tree that has seen better days, whopping it up like savages, ripping the pretty paper off all of the boxes while we scream with delight ... If the “E.T.s” can actually see us, they must wonder what the holy heck is going on!!!

Have you ever wondered if people from outer space eat? If they don’t, can you imagine their thoughts watching us devour our Christmas dinner? Maybe the little green men from outer space are green because they are vegetarians and they think our “eating of the flesh” habits are barbaric. God only knows what we’d do if we couldn’t chomp down on a slab of rare prime rib or a turkey drumstick on Christmas! Can you imagine not having some sort of meat or poultry and all the accouterments on Christmas? Could we really manage on a meager diet of veggies for our Christmas celebration? No mashed potatoes, no gravy, no green bean casserole, no crescent rolls, or decorated Christmas cookies? Holy smokes, I almost forgot fruit cake. I wonder if little green men eat fruit cake. I’ll gladly give them the whole darn thing.

Merry Christmas and Happy Stitching!


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